My Kidney Donation Story: EJ Tamez

Back in 2016, I learned that my brother’s health was deteriorating. I asked my mother about it, and she told me that he was in kidney failure and was already doing dialysis. I immediately went to see him and found him stuck in a chair, barely able to walk. He was only 42 years old back then, with a young family, and seeing him like that really broke my heart.

His son wanted to play football with him and my brother couldn’t even get out of the chair to play with him. That was wake-up call number one. When I saw that, I said, you need to go to a transplant center and I am not asking you, I’m telling you. He hadn’t been to a transplant center yet because there was no transplant center in the small Texas town where he lived.

My brother and I are very close, and he always listens to me, so he said OK. I told him I was going to meet him at the transplant center in San Antonio in two weeks.

Before we went to the center, we shared the same hotel room for the night, and I witnessed him performing peritoneal dialysis in the room. When I saw that, that was wake-up call number two. I said, Brother, you do that every night? He said yes, every night. He had to disinfect the whole room and sleep like that until morning. When I saw that, I wanted to do something else for him, but I didn’t know what.

In the morning, we headed to the transplant center together. He was talking to the nephrologist while I was in the waiting room. It took hours because they did a whole workup to try to get him on the waitlist.

A nurse saw me waiting there, just sitting looking down at the floor. She said, Sir, is everything OK? I told her I was very sad because my younger brother needed a kidney and there was nothing I could do for him. She looked me up and down and said, Well, you look healthy enough to be a donor. I said, Ma’am, how can I donate a kidney if I am still breathing? She said come with me.

She explained about living donation and I completed the initial questionnaire at the center. They said everything looked good and they would probably call me in a few weeks for more tests. They told me I could either tell my brother now that I was being evaluated as his donor or wait till I was approved. I decided to wait because I didn’t want to give him any false hope.

Two to three weeks later, they called and said they needed to do more blood work, but I didn’t have to go back to the center, I could do it near my home. After another few weeks, they asked me to come in and have a full workup. About a month later, the coordinator called me and said, Well Mr. Tamez, you are approved to donate to your brother.

I said wait, let me tell my wife! I hadn’t even told her yet. I was a little concerned about what she would say. The first thing that came to mind was what if one of our sons ever needed a kidney, or my wife? This is what she told me: Honey, we don’t live by what may happen tomorrow, we live by what happens today, and if your brother needs a kidney, we’re going to help him. I called the transplant center and told them I was ready.

I set a date for the surgery: March 1, 2017. My wife had a great idea for how to tell my brother. We got the families together and wrote on a birthday card “Good for one living donor kidney.” When we gave that card to him and his family, they started crying. They couldn’t believe it.

My brother wanted to convince me not to do it. He said I don’t want anything to happen to you. I told him my mind was already made up and nothing he said would change my mind. I told him, I have done my homework, and you know me, when I make up my mind, no one is going to convince me not to do it.

That whole month he called me almost every day trying to convince me not to do it—up to the day of the transplant when we met at the center. We were in the pre-op room and he told me again, you don’t have to do it, you can still back out. I said I’m not backing out, I am ready.

In the recovery room, I asked the doctor how my brother was doing. He said, it’s funny because your brother has been asking about you. Before he asked about himself, he asked about you. A few hours later, we all got together with the families. His youngest son came and gave me a little silver pendant that is half a kidney and he said, Uncle, thank you for saving my father’s life.

Once he recovered from the surgery, my brother told me, you know, I had forgotten what it felt like to be healthy. Dialysis is a way to survive but not a way to live.

About the Author

Eusebio J. (EJ) Tamez became a living kidney donor when he donated a kidney to his younger brother, Luis Tamez. When he found out about his brother’s need for a transplant, he had no idea he could donate as he thought you could only donate if you were deceased.

Since the transplant surgery, Luis and EJ have become enthusiastic public speakers advocating for organ donation. Speaking at medical seminars and transplant surgery events around the country, the two share their personal experiences, including the challenges and triumphs. Together, the brothers entered the 2018 Transplant Games of America held in Salt Lake City, Utah. In 2019, EJ participated in an event promoting the importance of organ donation—the Lone Star Circle of Life, a 500-mile bicycle ride from Tyler to Corpus Christi, Texas.

Mr. Tamez has lived in Del Rio since 2011. He resides there with his wife, Iliana, and three active teenage sons, Sebastian, Diego, and Rodrigo.

EJ loves to challenge himself at every corner, so he can be found participating in half Ironmans, swimming, scuba diving, and bicycling. He also loves watching the great outdoors speed past while perched atop his Harley.